Blame your ExWife
by DoriansDrudge
Summary: Prussia breaks into Austria's house... Again. though it does have a surprising twist! PruAus and mild language. R&R


_This story has boyxboy so don't like don't read_

_Disclaimer: if I owned Hetalia, in the sentence, 'Hetalia has implied Yaoi'_

_There would be no implied._

_Crash_

Sigh. Not again. You'd think Prussia would learn the first time… or the second… or the third… or fourth. But nonetheless he didn't and now I suppose I should go down there and range how much damage he's done _this_ time. I just hope he's fallen asleep by now; I hate dealing with drunken Prussians.

Slowly I slip out of the comfort and warmth of my bed, and walk over to my dresser to put on my trousers. Now that I'm at least semi-decently dressed I head for the door; cold wood meeting each of my bare feet with each step. Walking down the stairs I cringe as I remember all the times I walked down these very steps and at the end I would come face to face with the massacre of furnishing, that I could almost feel was waiting for me.

Worst comes to worst I could always call Hungary. Though I know she would not be too keen on the idea of coming to Vienna at 2 in the morning, even if it was to kick Prussian ass.

I close my eyes at the end of the stairway, not wanting to turn around but at the same time needing to. When I finally opened my eyes I couldn't believe what I was seeing,

Prussia was there as I had expected, but what I didn't expect was for him to be dancing around in lederhosen singing some incredibly cheesy love song. I'll admit that it was quite amusing but Gilbert kicking my furniture every 30 seconds with his "dance routine" definitely was not.

"GILBERT! What do you think your doing?" I asked with as much vigor as possible, trying desperately not to giggle. "Are you more drunk then usual?"

"I'm not drunk Roddy~!" Gilbert sing-songed while gliding to me.

"So you're telling me you run around in tiny lederhosen singing love songs and kicking furniture completely sober?"

"Well I actually came here to give you something, but ja, it adds to my awesome."

"Yes and what's that?" and out of complete nowhere he gives me a kiss on the forehead, then the nose, then finally the mouth. I was in such a shock I didn't realize his hands were wandering till one squeezed my ass. Giving a little yelp I tried to step back, but that proved a bad idea because it let him think I was pressing for more. Which I certainly was not.

Well only a little.

Or a lot… well it's not my fault that he's talented. And there were those lips again, coming down to mine. They tasted of bear and wurst with just a smidgen of the cakes he stole from me yesterday. Mix it together and you've got a taste that is simply Prussia.

Our mouths molded together, and I brought my hands up to his hair, at First just for something to release my passion on, but eventually to pull his head away, so that I wouldn't end up suffocating.

"You…I…what?" I stumbled over my words, trying to figure out why any of this had happened in the first place, and how sense would be an actual part in this.

"C'mon Specs, I don't have to spell it out for you do I?" he smirked at me while pressing our foreheads together.

"…"

He sighed and looked me straight in the eye, and I swear my heart did **not **skip a beat. His crimson orbs staring straight down into my violet. "I love you Rod." He brought his hand up and brushed some of my bed head away from my face, causing me to blush. "Since the 900's if you'll believe it."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, the guy who took my vital regions (Silesia, but they're getting to that) and has been tormenting me since I can remember, is now saying he loved me through most that time. And to top it off he was trying to quote Holy Rome. I was understandably shocked and really didn't want for this to be some kind of practical joke, so I just looked at him with disbelief.

"Oh come on, you're in love with my awesomeness too just admit it."

"Oh and what proof do you have of this," I answered with a bit more snark then I intended. For I took great offense in him thinking he knew me so well.

"Your ex-wife told me so." He stated, licking his lips hungrily. Well I suppose Prussia is just full of surprises tonight. And to think, I told her that in confidence too. Should have made her promise that if she told she'd have to throw out all her Yaoi.

"S-so why are you wearing lederhosen?" _Anything _to get away from this subject.

"Hungary said you liked it when I'm shirtless," slowly he leaned down to my ear to whisper huskily "and it does well to frame my five meters," well I couldn't lie here, they _were_ doing wonders for his cock

Which may have been doing wonders for _my _cock.

Gilbert obviously took my silence, and staring at his member, as a yes, for he picked me up and started sprinting for my room. I'd like to say I fought all the way there, but his shoulder was hitting my _problem_ in a way that doing anything besides moaning was impossible. So I simply kept my mouth shut.

When he did finally get to my room he threw me on the bed, and climbed on top as fast as he could. At this point there was no protesting. I needed him and I needed him now.

"Prussia, take me!"

~0xox0xox0~

Morning sunshine broke through my window with a chain saw. Well at least that's what it felt like to be woken up with a sore ass semen covering your stomach and upper thighs. With head ache the size of Russia because pillows don't cushion the headboard as much as I'd like. Not to mention if a certain Prussian was lying on top of you.

So I suppose last night wasn't some weird dream. I looked to the Prussian lying on top of me. I admit he is cute when he's not going on, and on about how awesome he is. With his hair framing his face like a halo, and his face in a slight smile. You might mistake him for an angel. Of course you'd be dead wrong. Then again, I still don't know if he was drunk to begin with. Well I think I know how to find out.

Silently I opened my bedside table and pulled out something, I placed it about three inches from his ear and pressed down

_**HONK~~~!**_

The air horn bellowed out as my lover (?) hit the floor. "What the hell Roderich?" he screamed at me from below the mattress.

"Making sure you didn't have a hangover." I stated simply putting on the most innocent face I could. Now that he was sitting up I pressed my fore head to his and said "now that I know you weren't drunk, I suppose I should say I love you too,"

~0xox0xox0~

_Sorry, but I can't do smex yet so just imagine what they did. But other than that thank you for reading and I hope you injoyed it!_

_reviews make me do the happy dance._

_ -Ni-chan_


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